


Lines in the sand

by greenmangoes



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 15:25:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8061691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenmangoes/pseuds/greenmangoes
Summary: AU : Oliver shows up at Felicity's door





	

**Author's Note:**

> my first fic on AO3 and my first Olicity fic...

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“I know.”

They stare at each other without moving.

He wants to ask her to let him in. But the words wouldn’t come out. Because he can see the effect of his actions over the past weekend written on her face.

“Then why are you here?” Her voice is ice cold.

“I’m…” sorry…but he’s not able to finish because she cuts him off.

“No!” her words are forceful. “You don’t get to say you’re sorry.”

Her voice comes out shaky…with anger, he thinks. But then he sees the sheen in her eyes and he realizes that once again, he’s hurt her. Her next words confirm this.

“Please…” She whispers.

He flinches at her plea.

“Felicity…” He hates the tremor in his own voice. He knows he’s hurting her. That all he ever seems to do lately is hurt her. And he knows he should stop. Stop with the push and pull because it’s not fair to her. But he doesn’t know how to stop. If he knew how, he would have done it a long time ago. If he knew how, he wouldn’t be here standing in front of her close to begging.

“What do you want from me?” The defeat in her voice shreds him.

“I just…” He wants to say he wants her, however much of her she’s willing to share with him. But he can’t. He doesn’t have the right to say those words.

 

****

She’s so mad at him that it takes everything in her not to lash out. She wants to shout at him…rage at the circumstances surrounding this…whatever fucked up ‘this’ is they are to each other. But she knows she doesn’t really have the right. They’re not together. Not really…  
She wants to blame him for this whole mess. For pulling her into his orbit when…

But she knows it’s her fault as much as his. For maintaining this strange holding pattern they’re on. Always flirting along that proverbial line in the sand…blurring it…messing it up…almost but never quite crossing over. But just because they haven’t crossed that line didn’t mean it wasn’t wrong. Her fault for believing that she’s only ever offered him a shoulder…an ear…a hug, no matter that these shared moments were done out of the public eye. That whispered words in the middle of the night didn’t mean anything. That him saying words like ‘if’ and ‘only’ or ‘I’ and “wish’ to her were not real. That hand holding and shoulder touches or forehead kisses were merely gestures…even as their hearts beat in sync with each other.

That knowing her place across that line in the sand means she wouldn’t really get hurt.

It’s taken this past weekend’s actions to make her realize just how much she’s been deluding herself.

“Is she still here?” She makes herself ask.

His silence lets her know that she is.

“Go home, Oliver.” She tells him tiredly. “I think we both know you’ve already said what you wanted to say to me last weekend. I heard you loud and clear.”

“No!” His forceful word makes her flinch. “It wasn’t…I was just…”

  
 “What Oliver? You were just what?”

“Please…”

“I can’t do this anymore.” She tells him.

“I didn’t mean…”

“To hurt me? I know.” She tells him softly because she does know. “I wasn’t…” she assures him, even as the tears she tells herself she shouldn’t shed, falls despite her best efforts to hold them in.

He makes a move towards her but she steps back and hastily wipes her face. “Allergies” she mumbles.

“Felicity…”

“I’ll be fine.” She tells him. “I’ll see you at work.”

And makes herself close the door on his face.

***

He stares at the closed door unable to move. The pain in his chest almost too much to bear. He wants to break it down. Wants to get in there and take her in his arms. Make her understand. Explain. But what explanation is there that would make the whole thing better? He should just leave her be. And yet, he can’t make his feet move.

***

She hates herself for straining her ears for signs that he’s moved. _Walk away._ She wills him to do so. _Please._ She prays. _Before I open this door again and ask you in_. But there’s only silence on the other side of the door. _Please._

***

_I love you._

He wants to tell her.

But he bites his lips to prevent the words from escaping.

It’s a burden she shouldn’t have to bear.

Because she’s young and beautiful.

She’s all that is pure and good, much like that rare mythical creature that everyone who’s known her…knows her says she is.

It’s not her fault that he didn’t wait…

Not her fault that she’s free.

And he is not.


End file.
